Over the last two months or so, I’ve established two kinds of entries on here. There’s the good information post and the personal, informal posts. I’m getting record numbers on the informational posts. As I’ve begun learning through my social media/website/marketing/image/dude, this is a bad idea/promotions manager, I’ve reached exponentially more people than ever before on this site.
While I’m sure some of you hit these numbers every day, I’m literally doing 5 to 10 times the amount of traffic on days that I crosspost an entry through Twitter, Reddit and LinkedIn, with whatever I’ve posted catching fire on one of those mediums, if not more. Part of me feels like a fool not having recognized how many more people I could have been reaching the last few years, but part of me also knows I wasn’t ready mentally to return to social media or those kinds of websites. I’m still staying off Facebook for now.
But there are entries like the one you’re reading, where I’m not really trying to educate and just talking more to the group of people who have followed me for a while and there’s some sense of knowing me on a personal level. I like the group on here. The days I post an entry like this, I don’t care if there’s only 40 reads on it compared to 400 reads of something more journalistic. I think that the chance to write these and get feedback is just as important to my process.
So anyway, I have no idea if this is going to be long or short. I have a few things on my mind, but we never know where thats going to take us.
One thing I hate about having to make these articles SEO-friendly is that I need so many subheads. I’ve got to talk to my web person and find out if I really need to do it on these kinds of posts. Every section can only be 300 words, then you need another subhead. For wordy people like me, it breaks up the flow.
An interesting phenomenon that happened immediately after my TEDx Talk was announced, and again in the weeks leading up to it, and especially this last week since it’s been recorded but not released, is people coming out of the woodwork looking to collaborate with me. I get that the TED brand has cache, but that doesn’t mean I’m brimming with ideas. The one thing almost everyone has in common is that they don’t bring an idea to the table. They expect me to have one and want to ride my coattails. Sorry for the reality check, folks, but I don’t have any coattails right now. I need to be able to afford a suit first.
Collaborating with Tony Overbay on my second book and my TEDx coach, Ryan, were amazing experiences. I learned how much better I can be with a partner who has the same positive goal and passion. But when a stranger says to me, “I think we should work on something together” and I say, “What do you have in mind?” and they have nothing, I know it’s time to move on. In the past I might try to squeeze blood from that stone, but now, I just assume something good will eventually come around. I can only imagine how crazy it’ll get when the TEDx Talk is released, hopefully later this week. You know me…it’s not like you’ll be able to miss it.
Give Me Your Feedback on My Next Book
Another reason I want this entry to fly under the radar is because I want to get your feedback on a book idea, but don’t want the whole world to know I’m working on it.
I’ve got a few ideas for my next book, and I want to focus on partners again. Here are my concepts:
- How to Avoid Gaslighting From Those Who Did It Best – Stories from Myself, and other addicts I’ll interview, about different kinds of gaslighting they did to their partners. It’ll show what gaslighting is, red flags, and have a lot of examples.
- Advice for Women Who Haven’t Said ‘I Do’ Yet – Teaching the basics of pornography addiction and what making a long-term commitment to somebody who has a porn addiction would entail.
- What I Wish I Would Have Told Her Earlier – More of a First-Person take reflecting back on my addiction, identify any red flags I may have been waving, what I should or could have done — and how being honest with my partner would have changed the actual outcome.
- Advice for Women Who Married a Guy Like Me – For women who have found out that their husband is an addict, but he doesn’t want to do much about it.
Do any of these jump out at any of you? If I’m going to devote a couple hundred hours on this, I want to make sure that it’s something that people think is a good idea.
More Pics From the TEDx Talk
The talk is still not up, and I’m checking a few times every day. I wanted to share a few more pictures from the event that I just got from the official photographer, Nick Caito Photo:
I know I thank you guys here a lot, but I honestly wouldn’t have been able to get this far without the support of many of you. Those who have been following since late 2017 or early 2018 have been there through every book, triumph, setback and bipolar moment I brought to the table.
My LinkedIn community is very different, and I get it. I have a small footprint in a couple Reddit communities. Now, I’m building both Instagram and Twitter communities. They are just as different from each other as WordPress is with LinkedIn. I don’t know how many communities I’m going to continue to be a part of, but I will always feel like this is the original and I think this is always going to be the one I return to again and again.