To Think It All Started With Porn Addiction

I was an addict once, right? Seems like a lifetime ago.

This is more an update for those who have followed me for years on here. It blows my mind it’s actually been years. And it blows my mind that I believe anybody has been wondering where I am. I noticed I hadn’t updated in months and really, didn’t see that happening on the horizon.

The Brief History

Seriously brief. After recovery started, I wrote a book to tell my story of porn addiction. That begat many emails. Then that begat interviews, more books, public speaking and, because of the pandemic, a move into coaching.

The most challenging part about coaching (trained in pornography addiction, betrayal trauma and as a therapeutic disclosure specialist) is developing a steady, repeating client base. I know after two years, in such a specialized area, and not being officially licensed, I should be happy where I am. But I’m impatient. I see some real light at the end of the professional tunnel, but it’s a long professional tunnel.

Last December, at the urging of someone I respect, I got on TikTok. I had my stereotypes, but knowing the stats, I should have realized I’d blow up. I just didn’t know how much. In almost six months to the day of starting, I tallied my 100,000th follower yesterday.

Things Do, And Must, Change

So what happens when you get lucky on social media? If it’s connected to your professional life, it changes everything. Suddenly, the Twitter doesn’t seem important. In a moment of clarity, actually dumped that a couple weeks ago. I can’t read about another person pissed off about the government, right or left. I casually use LinkedIn, but I still don’t get who it’s actually for. My Instagram is still important, but when passing 2,000 followers is a big deal, well, do I really devote much time to an audience 1/50th the size of my TikTok one?

I used to try to go on as many podcasts as possible. Now, there are a select few that I’m proud to be a regular, but unless it’s huge, or I listen and am intrigued, I often decline the smaller ones. I just don’t have the energy or time after coaching for 3 or 4 hours.

And then there is this blog that turned into a website that still gets a decent amount of hits, even if I’m not doing a damn thing with it lately. My output in 2022 on here has been dismal. That’s not going to change… so maybe something else must.

So What’s Next

For some reason, I’m currently popping in the UK. I was covered in a national newspaper twice recently and I was on GBNews a couple weeks back, which is kind of like a Fox News with more of a sense of humor. There are a few other opportunities on the horizon, too, and I will announce them here in due time. Most importantly though, I’m going to continue helping men, women and couples who think my expertise and experience can guide them through. I really do love being a coach.

I’m not sure this website is what it needs to be at the moment. My professional needs and goals in 2018 were very different than they are midway through 2022. I’m thinking about changes to really simplify things and that will probably involve less frequent updates. Like the rest of us, there is just so much time in the day and one has to prioritize.

If I only check in a few times a year and this is the only place you ever see me, I’m sorry that things are changing. Many of you who have been on this long journey with me are people I consider friends. You know that you can follow me elsewhere, and if you ever need anything, I’m here. There’s a few dozen of you ride-or-dies I put far in front of the 100,000 newbies in my life. Find me if you need me. I’ll be right there.